Shifting

End of summer, 2012, was a something-else time, transitional. I felt like I was living in a version of the movie Pan’s Labyrinth, shifting between the dark helplessness of reality, and a series of twisted kaleidoscope fairy tales that tested me and pushed me forward through the fog by the lamp of faith.

First destination was San Francisco, California. I took my daughter to where I was born.

This gate protects the home where I took my first breath.

A short walk up Point Lobos brings you to this cafe.

Street art on the corner store.

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I continued to follow the arrows north, and was in Mendocino county as the sun set.

We woke up in Eureka to a fog-haired beast grinning at us with tree-teeth.

Before I knew it, we were back in Oregon.

I didn’t see it as “visiting home” at all. It was a re-assessment of what I had long ago considered my home and family, and I found all emptiness. The only fullness I saw was where it shouldn’t have been, filling up the cracks…

It was the days leading up to a Leo/Aquarius full moon.

Before the next full moon, Virgo/Pisces, my daughter and I were camping in the Giant Sequoia National Monument. I had been pretty earnestly worshiping some deities and they sent this call for me to go there… it’s a long story.

I’ve written a lot about the Giant Sequoias, but I think I’ve only scratched the surface of describing the transformation I experienced in the company of these beings. After years of being forcibly separated from anything resembling confidence or trust in myself, spending seven days and nights bowing to the moon in the solitude of wilderness and tending sacred fire with a Sequoia staff re-oriented my shattered spirit around a jewel stone core. Soul retrieval in full effect. I was swimming in a new third-eye clarity. I was flooded with past life memories in dreams. I received actual instructions for cleansing and balance that I use to this day. The Giant Sequoias are nothing less than my benefactors, my gurus.